Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
by Brian Rzepczynski,
The Gay Love Coachhttp://www.thegaylovecoach.com/
So what makes a healthy and lasting long-term gay relationship successful? Our society certainly doesn’t make it easy for us as gay men to date and mate with all the homophobia and discrimination that exists. Though this is slowly starting to change in many parts of the world, man-to-man love continues to be stigmatized and this backdrop of cultural oppression and hatred can put a strain on a gay couple’s budding relationship that many heterosexual pairs may take for granted. As a gay community, we lack adequate and visible positive role models of gay couples that provide hope for lasting relationship success.
As men, we’ve been conditioned to define our masculinity in rigid and narrow ways as part of the socialization process growing up and this can create conflict when pairing up two individuals of the same gender looking for intimacy and emotional connection. And then we have our own layers of discrimination and pressure in our own gay community that at times can leave gay couples feeling unsupported and uninspired to achieve relationship longevity in the one place they thought they’d be safe—among their own.While the odds do seem to be stacked against us in the fight for the dream of claiming our rightful husband with the accompanying house, white picket fence, and prideful rainbow flag securely attached to the front porch, they don’t have to be obstacles to our success. Having to face so much adversity has actually enabled many of us to be quite resilient in the face of stress and makes us good candidates for partnerships with the right focus and determination.
There are many gay men in long-term relationships who can vouch for their fulfillment of this dream and speak of happiness and bliss in their coupled status. But what are the ingredients that make a healthy gay relationship? Characteristics of Successful Gay CouplesThere is no specific blueprint or formula for how to maintain a lasting and successful relationship. One of the beauties of being gay is that we can create our own definitions of what constitutes an ideal relationship for ourselves as we are not hampered down by restrictive gender roles and norms like our heterosexual counterparts. Each couple develops their own unique partnership that works for them. That being said, there are some universal qualities that can promote a more solid and functional relationship over the long haul for partners seeking long-term connection and happiness.
Successful gay couples can exhibit some of the following…
1. They share compatible interests and philosophies of life.It’s important that partners have similar interests and hobbies to share in common to build experiences with together, but it’s also essential to have some differences as well to complement each other. This helps to keep the mystery and intrigue alive in the relationship that exists with contrast. Who wants to have an exact replica of themselves that they interact with on a daily basis?! Boring! What is absolutely critical, however, is that both partners will have a smoother and more fulfilling relationship if they share comparable value systems. This forms the foundation of what the couple believes in and is the diving board from which they co-create a vision for their future together as a united front and alliance for life.
to be continue
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
A mini clip outside the site of the where we raise the rainbow flag marking IDAHO, in Half Way Tree, Kingston, Jamaica.
Jamaica LGBT YOUTHS
OUTWEEKLY PLAN FOR THE INTERNATIONAL DAY AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA
INTERNATIONAL DAY AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA
MAY 17, 2009.
There are 77 countries in the world today where it is a criminal offence to be gay. These countries punish women, men and children because of their sexuality and in seven countries the punishment is death.
International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO) provides a platform for everyone to make a powerful statement to demand improvements for the quality of life for LGBT people here in Jamaica. The 17th of May will be used to raise awareness of homophobic issues that are negatively impacting on people’s lives.
On this day we will be advocating for an end to homophobia in Jamaica. We will be addressing the three mayor factors that are the driving force to homophobia. The Dancehall music, Church and the Government.
Often times it is preach that violence is wrong and must not be accepted. However the double stand that is coming from the Jamaican Dancehall artists against homosexuals is accepted. This type of music is very influential to the Jamaican people. Ignorance and callous nature in people cause them to behave violently towards homosexuals.
Many other countries around the world are planning activities to combat homophobia. Costa Rica and Honduras will be having panel and pubic presentation, in some European countries same sex couples plan to hold hands in public.
The raising of a Rainbow Flag in the capital city of Kingston is one of the activities that are plan by us. The Rainbow Flag is the world’s most recognized symbol of LGBT diversity. The six colures represent various facets of LGBT communities: red for life, orange for healing, yellow for sunlight, green for nature, blue for art, and violet for spirituality.
International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO) is celebrated May 17.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
The parade is scheduled to take place at lunchtime on Saturday 16 May, and coincides with the final of the Eurovision song contest which is being held later that night, also in Moscow. The Moscow authorities have said the parade is banned and have threatened "tough measures" against anyone who tries to march. In addition, there is the likelihood of mob violence against the marchers by neo-Nazis, skinheads, ultra-nationalists and Christian fundamentalists - as happened in 2006 and 2007.
"I am joining the parade to show my support for the courageous Russian gay campaigners. All year round they risk arrest, imprisonment and queer-bashing attacks. These men and women are absolute heroes. I salute them," said Mr. Tatchell, who is the human rights spokesperson for the Green Party of England and Wales and the Green Party parliamentary candidate for the university constituency of Oxford East in south-east England.
"International solidarity is hugely important. My presence is one way to show that gay people around the world support the right of gay people in Russia to live their lives without homophobic prejudice, ostracism, discrimination and violence. "This parade is in defence of human rights. We are defending the often violated human rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Russians. They want legal protection against discrimination and hate crimes. I support their cause. "Not all Russians are homophobic, but many are. Gay Russians suffer queer-bashing attacks, blackmail, verbal abuse and discrimination in education, housing and employment,. This shames the great Russian nation. "Saturday's Slavic Gay Pride is about more than gay human rights. It is about the right of all Russian people to freely express their opinions and to protest peacefully.
The ban on gay parades is just one example of the systematic suppression of civil liberties in Russia. "I appeal to President Medvedev, Prime Minister Putin and Mayor Luzhkov: gay people are no threat to Russian society. Be magnanimous. Uphold democratic rights and freedoms. Allow the Slavic Gay Pride parade. "Although I am determined to support our Russian and Belarusian comrades, like them I am anxious about what may happen to us. But we have to take some risks; otherwise the homophobes and authoritarians will win. "I don't have much confidence that the Moscow police will accept our right to protest or that they will protect us against neo-Nazi violence. "At Moscow Pride in 2007 I was beaten almost unconscious by right-wing extremists, while the police stood by and watched. They then arrested me. I spent several hours in police detention before being released without charge. My attackers have never been arrested, even though they were clearly identified in photos and film footage," said Mr Tatchell.
Peter Tatchell - 020 7403 1790 (until 10am Wednesday 13 May, and after 11pm 18 May)
Nikolai Alekseev (organiser Slavic Gay Pride) - + 7 916 255 8240 ENDS
Friday, May 1, 2009
THIS ia mini chips showing the three factors that are driving Homophobia in Jamaica. The Dancehall music, The Church and Government.